One way to look at history is a series of fleeing from monsters — cruel leaders, corrupt societies and sadistic religions all trying to impose their iron fists on everyone else create the conditions where those who don’t conform must either run or die. So we run. We get on boats to countries we’ve never been to. We cross borders that try to keep us out. We search for new lands where we can live in peace. My ancestors did it. And probably yours too—either voluntarily or by force.
This desire for the freedom to live in peace is what today’s Christian Nationalists haven’t understood about American history, because many American children are not taught religion or religious history in an academic way. Early Americans were Christians, yes. But they were running from other Christians. Puritans, Protestants, Huguenots, Moravians, Quakers — all knew first hand the fear of execution and torture from the Catholic Church and the Church of England for believing in their own right to choose what to believe. The authoritarian, rigid cruelty of today’s Christian Nationalists are exactly what our forefathers and mothers were running from! The monster our ancestors were trying to escape have followed us here and now live amongst us. Where are we going to run to now? Canada? The monster is there too. And guess what? The Catholic authorities turned out to be pedophiles! And the Evangelicals are sexual abusers too!
It’s the same story with the environmental degradation we see every day. We have lived as if it doesn’t matter if we trash and poison our land because we can always find more somewhere else. The rain forest! The ocean! Mars! Outer space! But now we are running out of new places to destroy. We can move elsewhere, but we can’t escape the destruction and toxicity we have created. It’s in our blood and bones and brain.
For women around the world, the monster is often in their own home, demanding to be served without reciprocity. It’s not always a husband. Sometimes it’s a father. Sometimes it’s a mother or grandmother. Ancient patterns of “acceptable” behavior have led to generations of traumatized and wounded people — of those who survived.
This is not just a white people problem. Or an American problem. The reason people are so willing to risk everything to leave their homes in Mexico, South and Central America, the Middle East, Africa, Asia and parts of Europe is because the monster is everywhere.
The monster is us.
The revolutionary idea of America was that it would be the one place where people are free to have their own faith, their own beliefs, their own religion (provided you were not a slave, a person of color or Jewish or Muslim…America was never perfect). We all need to believe in something. And it’s our life’s greatest purpose to find our own faith and practice it with integrity — whatever it is. But we have got to stop running and trying to escape the monster, or hide from it. We have to turn and face it, because that’s the only way to disarm it.
How do we do that? We stop trying to escape and turn and face the monster and say NO. Nope. Not today. The monster thrives on creating fear. The monster gets sexual satisfaction from creating fear. So be not afraid. Stand up. Sit down. Speak out. Practice peaceful non-violent resistance. Refuse to participate in feeding the fear. Look into your own heart and BELIEVE in your own power to create a world of peace and love. Don’t do to your kids, your community, yourself, what was done unto you. Heal, forgive and walk the path of love. Get involved where you can. This is not a fight, it’s a transformation. This is not a war, it’s an evolution. This is not dystopia, it’s metamorphosis.
Stop running. Start facing the truth.
The monster is greedy and jealous. The monster is selfish and narcissistic. The monster is lazy and a thief of joy. The monster is sexually repressed and has delusions of grandeur. The monster is a man and a woman, a boy and a girl. The monster is drunk and dangerous. The monster carries deadly guns and weapons and enjoys using them and scaring people with them. The monster cheats and doesn’t play fair. The monster is a communist, a socialist and a capitalist. The monster is ignorant and educated. The monster makes fun of and calls other people names to dehumanize them. Don’t be the fucking monster.
Sometimes the monster is a terrifying mythological beast like the Kraken, which is really just a giant squid trying to mind it’s own business.
Sometimes the monster is a person in pain. I remember when I was little going to see my brother in the ancient Roman play Androcles and the Lion. Androcles pulls a thorn from the Lion’s paw and they become friends. Later, when Androcles is “thrown to the lions” for some such punishment or entertainment (or both) the lion saves him. This is reciprocity, and it’s a tale as old as time. The difference is we have run out of time to just escape and hide. It’s time to be courageous and face the monster whether they are in pain or just plain enjoy provoking pain in others.
The kids in Nashville are doing it. The girls and women of Iran are doing it. People all around the world are doing it every day and it’s the only thing that works to stop a bully. If they can do it, we can all do it too.
Here’s what gives me hope: the internet. It’s enabled people all around the world to share their stories and their trauma. We are not alone. For example, I learned on the BBC Instagram account that there is a film in India that has been running steadily in theaters since 1995. It’s called Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (The Big-Hearted Will Take The Bride). So Lucia and I watched it and were heartened to see that it is about marrying for love (with parents approval) rather than submitting to an arranged marriage. That’s progress! That’s hope. Then I was wondering if there was an equivalent long running movie in American and I immediately thought of The Rocky Horror Picture Show — a cult classic starring a TRANSVESTITE. Since 1975! That’s hope too! This current obsession with Trans-phobia is a phase that will hopefully pass. The cat is already out of the bag. The genie is already out of the bottle.
You can ban a book, but you can’t ban the world.
We have made progress and will continue to make progress. But we will make progress faster when we stop trying to run, escape or hide and start facing the monster and tame it once and for all. Not kill it. Killing doesn’t work. In fact, killing just makes it worse. The only thing that works is taming, and that takes fearless love. Love in action: Art, stories, movies, marches, protests, conversations, creativity, solutions, curiosity, science, healing, dreaming, sharing, growing and farming without toxins, cooking and eating together, dancing, dreaming, working together, running for office or the school board, voting, choosing, dreaming, refusing to buy guns, getting rid of your guns, talking to teenagers as if they matter, talking to others as if they matter, listening, learning how to deal with feelings, learning how to protect your boundaries, seeking to understand, dreaming.
Staying.
Please stay.
I’ve been fighting for years. It’s exhausting. But every now and then I get encouraged to keep going. That encouragement comes from all sorts of places, a film, a song, a book, a Facebook post, the loss of a friend, meeting a new friend, rescuing a puppy, planting a garden, or reading a Substack such as yours! There’s so much that needs to be done and I’m just one ordinary person striving to do what I can. Thanks for the encouragement today.
I haven't written anything in years. You are making me think I may still have the "real talent" Lewis Lapham remarked on when he read my work. You are giving us all courage with your voice! Thank you for your life, Maria.