As 2023 comes to a close, let me just say it kinda sucked. My stroke, my aborted book promotions, multiple deaths - including my sister, major betrayals that shall not be named, witnessing horrific genocides and feeling helpless about what to do, and watching the bizarre loyalty so many people seem to have to a serial criminal former President who also shall not be named made the whole year a bit of a hot mess.
But applying my Maria math, it’s weird to reconcile those terrible things with the fact that I felt so good so many times, and enjoyed so many magical moments. In fact, some of the worst things led to very good things. But maybe that’s just life, right? A boiling stew of both tender and tough things that when cooked long enough, tastes good enough to keep you alive and nourished.
To bring focus to the light, rather than the dark, I thought I would make a list of all the good things I found that brought me joy that you, too can enjoy:
Movies:
Past Lives. A perfect modern story of love and life, growing up, fate, and longing. It’s so beautiful and raw.
The Next Goal Wins - A Taika Waititi gem of a movie based on a true story about a terrible soccer team in American Samoa. You will laugh, cry, gasp in shock, and feel better about the world when it’s done.
(And of course, the Barbie Movie which was ubiquitously amazing.) This weekend I will be going to see Poor Things and The Boy and the Heron, which I am also looking forward to seeing.
Documentaries:
Radical Wolfe - An insight into the incredible writing and life of Tom Wolfe, author of The Electric Cool Aid Acid Test, and a whole era of New Journalism and publishing. This was a documentary that the second I saw it was available I watched it and had absolutely no regrets. However, it made me feel old. Reading his books gave me permission to find my own unique voice as a writer.
Still Working Nine to Five - There was so much magic surrounding this documentary, which I saw at the South Side Film Festival in Bethlehem this summer that I can’t even tell you. Seriously, you wouldn’t even believe it. Suffice it to say, I lived and loved this film.
Books:
The Well-Lived Life: A 102-Year-Old Doctor’s Six Secrets to Health and Happiness at Every Age - by Dr. Gladys McGarey. I bought dozens of books this year and read a few, but this one really stuck with me and made me happy to have read it. The six secrets are not what you think they are, and they are good.
My Name is Barbra - I’m only halfway through this book but have learned so much about how movies and records are made, and what it is really like to be a celebrity (and why I don’t want to be one). I am making a list of all the movies and records I haven’t seen or heard and looking forward to experiencing them with new insights.
Pants:
Carve Designs - I have always hated buying pants. Either they are too long or too uncomfortable. But I finally found a brand that’s organic, fits well without alterations, and is super comfortable. I have barely worn any leggings this year as a result! The butter-soft corduroy is my fave. And they have good pockets!
Music:
Taylor Swift - I mean, the ERA’s Tour, come on! The world will never be the same. Thank you, Taylor, for saving the economy and writing great songs. And thank you for having Phoebe Bridgers as your opening act in Philadelphia!
Phoebe Bridgers and Boy Genius - These beautiful people created the soundtrack of both my and my teenage daughters’ year, and gave us the opportunity to wear matching skeleton pajamas to their concert. So much fun!
Bruce Springsteen finally released an album of his live piano solos, which are my personal favorite.
Best food:
The gingerbread pancakes from Bad Manners. YUM! You too can make them. I made them gluten-free, cut the sugar, and added two eggs. Don’t forget to use real maple syrup.
Roses:
2023 was the year I stopped weeding my garden and my 20-year-old roses thanked me by doubling in size. Try it! My motto for 2024 is going to be: Leave the Leaves AND Leave the Weeds!
Wilding:
I heard Isabella Tree, author of the Book of Wilding, speak at the Gardening Future Summit at the New York Botanical Gardens on a day that the city of New York flooded. Suffice it to say, wilding, and or re-wilding, holds so many answers to so many world problems and she and her husband have demonstrated its power.
Speaking of nature and wilding, three of my favorite non-profits that bring me joy are Edwina Von Gal’s PRFCT EARTH Project, Maya Lin’s What Is Missing, and of course the Rodale Institute. Check them out!
Social media:
The Women with Beard filters on TikTok. Oh my gosh, this gave me so much joy this year. I’m not going to link to them but find them if you want to laugh.
Life Lesson:
Betrayal is a gift. Because it shows you who people truly are. Also, it has taught me the importance of creating boundaries and trusting my gut instincts. It’s also taught me to stand up for myself.
Best Gift:
My Kids and Grandkids are the light of my life. We have so much fun hanging out together and they keep me laughing. A happy family is everything to me. Priceless.
Things I’m grateful for:
All the people who keep my home functioning - the plumbers, electricians, and other service people. All the people who kept my body functioning - the doctors, nurses, physical therapists, and my trainer who brought me back to life. My good friends who check in on me and send me goofy and interesting stuff. All the people in my life who are easy, and loving, and fun to be around. Nature! Always Nature!
The truth is, when I look back on my photos from 2023 there were many more good moments than bad. I met so many interesting new people and reconnected with old friends. I spent just enough time in the ocean to cleanse my soul. I made an almost full recovery from my stroke and used the recovery to motivate me to get healthier by exercising, radically reducing sugar and salt, and continuing to be gluten-free. I feel stronger and healthier than when the year started. I golfed! More than once! I proved that old dogs can learn new tricks.
But I also learned I can’t solve the world’s problems. I can’t even solve someone else’s problem. All I can do is live the best life I can with love and integrity, set strong boundaries, and keep doing the things I love, and writing this newsletter is one of them. So thanks for reading!
Oh, and Trust the Magic.
But seriously, let’s hope that 2024 is better for everyone. I’m excited to see what we all can do to make the world a better place. Let’s start by always trying to do the right thing, and treating nature and each other with love and respect.
I love all of this, and wish you good health, joy, peace. And dinner together in 2024.
I saw that Werner Herzog said to Piers Morgan that 30 minutes of the Barbie movie was analogous to "sheer Hell" and he encourages those who want a preview of Hell to watch the movie. I haven't seen it yet! Maybe they are just being grumpy old men? I have a lot of Maria musing to catch up on! I am very sorry that you were betrayed by someone close to you. I just assume that is how it will end at this point.