When I Was a Boy…my favorite song from Dar Williams. Ummm….That’s little me.
We are faced with so much death and genocide these days. It’s everywhere. All over the world. We watch it live on social media. We read about it. We watch it fictionalized and rationalized. Some people (not me) even watch it for entertainment. It’s almost too much to process. And then the face of one kid breaks through the chaos and hits me in the heart like a sledgehammer. Maybe it’s because Nex Benedict looks like they could be one of my kids. Or maybe because Nex Benedict reminds me of me when I was younger and I feel the rage of my youth bubbling up like a volcano.
I was in Jr. High when this girl who I will not name kept harassing me and insulting me for a few weeks. I had no idea what I did to deserve her wrath, but it was making me mad because it seemed so unfair. But back then the general rule was if someone, usually a boy, bullies you, it means they like you. Seriously. That’s what we were told. So over lunch one day I called her a lesbian under my breath. The L word spread like fire. I barely even knew what it meant. Later that day, while walking down the hall, I noticed two large boys who were older than they should be for junior high, waiting for me. They pushed me and knocked me to the floor while all the other students walking by just quietly gawked. I remember I was wearing clogs. Not the best choice. They might have kicked me once or twice. I don’t remember. But I do remember sitting in the principal’s office and both the girl and I got detention. That seemed grossly unfair. (I might have also been chewing gum.) But I lived. Back then there were no words for kids like me who didn’t quite fit in and felt both male and female at varying times.
Now, thank God, there are words. And many people are free to express who they truly are. One of them is my friend Atlas, who is Trans, and an incredible filmmaker. He reached out to me after reading Love Nature Magic and asked me to send him more information about nature’s gender fluidity, which I mentioned in the book. Since then I’ve sent him dozens of articles on nature’s gender flexibility. Here are some highlights:
Bonobos and other apes are notoriously homosexual.
Penguins are often gay (homosexual).
Whales and dolphins have been observed having same-sex relations (also homosexual).
According to BBC Wildlife, same-sex sexual behaviors have been observed in over 1,500 animal species
Some corals change gender each year to attract mates.
Fifteen percent of deer are non-binary.
Seahorse males are the ones who get pregnant and carry their kids to term.
Banana slugs and earthworms are hermaphrodites (meaning they are both sexes at once).
Ginko trees can spontaneously change sex.
Clownfish change genders.
There is a gay anteater couple at the Smithsonian Zoo right now!
Stick insects that are normally asexual sometimes have sex (but usually reproduce without having any).
If you want to learn more, check out Christine Wilkinson, Ph.D who does the Queer is Natural podcast. But one thing she has learned is that there is TONS OF SEX FOR PLEASURE in nature! It’s not all about reproduction. Flying foxes? I want to know more! And Bonobos, the matriarchal close cousins of chimpanzees (and humans) are basically having sex in all variations all day long. Sounds like more fun than fighting, if you ask me.
But Back to death…Nex Benedict died as a result of being bullied by some girls. There will be years of debate about what actually happened and who is to blame and blah blah blah but there was a fight, Nex got hurt. And then they died. It was violence stupidly fueled by self-righteous, alleged Christians who are so holier than thou and brainwashed by corrupt preachers and politicians that they can’t even see clear enough to understand who JESUS ACTUALLY WAS and what he stood for. And that’s how we get a supreme court that takes away the rights of women and lets white male criminals run rampant and states like Alabama that have their heads so far stuck up their own asses they don’t understand basic biology or reproduction making a decision that destroys many more lives than they proclaim to protect.
What is wrong with people?
Just STOP.
Gender fluidity is normal in humans, animals, and nature.
Sadly, male violence is also normal, especially in Chimpanzees, who are patriarchal.
The Bible was mostly written by Middle Eastern human males thousands of years ago and is an exceedingly contradictory, fictionalized account of things that may or may not have happened in only one culture. Remember, there were many other cultures alive and present at that time, with different origin stories and histories. The Bible is NOT THE CONSTITUTION. And if it was truly treated as such, we would all be dead. The insistence on “only two genders, male and female” is not only wrong, it exists primarily to create a servant class of women to cater to men’s inability to take care of their own needs.
Stop.
STOP.
Gender fluidity is natural and normal in humans, animals, fish, insects, worms, trees, plants, and all of nature.
Get used to it.
And remember what the snake told me: “There is no sin in pleasure if it’s partnered with love.”
To Nex, no matter how you died: May your memory be a revolution.
We’re all somewhere on the spectrum of gender — and where we are hurts no one but does make the world (and the human world race) more diverse and interesting!
Bravo for writing this. I think bullying is one of the worst manifestations of human character defects. And this event with Nex is just so sad and the politicians in Oklahoma...