Trying To Make Sense of The Chaos

Through the chaos, hope blooms.

I’ve been mulling over how to connect all the dots…A chemical fertilizer leak in Iowa kills 60 miles of aquatic life. Farmers in France are dumping manure in the streets to protest the government trying to limit their chemical use. People around the world want Israel to stop the genocide in Gaza, but still, the US sends billions of dollars worth of weapons and then gets upset when aid workers get targeted and killed. MAGA Republicans in the government seem more than eager to serve democracy on a silver platter to Putin, while the US Justice system seems to have forgotten its purpose. No one seems to care that Jared Kushner got two billion dollars from Saudi Arabia and wants to rebuild Gaza into a seaside resort. Nickelodeon and P. Diddy turn out to be fronts for sex trafficking and sexual abuse of minors. Everything seems to be flooding. And parts of the ocean are becoming so hot that it’s inhospitable for life, smashing all records and predictions.

What the fuck, world?!

But when I sit quietly and observe and let the patterns reveal themselves I see three things: Money. Sex. And fear of change. I was talking to an educated man the other day about some of these issues and we were strategizing how to solve them. He was coming at it from the traditional, patriarchal worldview: politics, economics, negotiations, better news sources, and the importance of voting. He brought up George Mitchell, who successfully negotiated peace in Northern Ireland. (And who also flew on Jeffrey Epstein's plane by the way.) Sure. But what the world really needs?

“Therapy,” I told him. “Politics will never solve these issues, only therapy will.” And by therapy, I mean the courageous pursuit of personal and societal growth and healing.

Let’s start with money. Money is not inherently good or evil. But many people will do evil things in pursuit of money, thinking it will solve their problems or satisfy their deepest urges. [A small break is taken here for a 4.8 earthquake felt in Pennsylvania. Or was it the Earth agreeing with me?] The biggest yacht or rocket in the world will not “fill your love cup” as Sven, the badass counselor will teach you on TikTok. But people need money to survive and eat and take care of their families and they should get it. What Farmers in France seem to be protesting is the lack of financial support to enact government changes and counseling on how to change. But also fear of change. Instead of more regulations, how about some financial and emotional relief for what the world truly needs? (This is, to be very clear: a healthy environment, healthy food, and…therapy!) What MAGA Republicans are begging for from Putin is money, because campaigning is obscenely expensive and wouldn’t it be easier to never have to campaign again and use that money to buy a mansion, or better yet, young girls or boys for sex?

Which brings me to sex. This is not an American problem. I read recently that Afghanistan is bringing back stoning women for adultery which could even involve a woman just looking at a man who is not her husband. The goal is to keep all women from leaving the house. But going back to war with Afghanistan is not going to solve that problem. Men and boys everywhere need therapy to learn how to deal positively with their sexuality and channel it in safe and mutually pleasing ways. Because women aren’t taking it anymore. Have you heard about the 4B movement in South Korea? It’s coming to a town near you if it hasn’t already arrived. It stands for no sex with men, no childrearing, no dating men, and no marriage. (B is the first letter of the Korean word for no, apparently.) Women won’t need an abortion, divorce, or childcare if they never get involved with men in the first place. Honestly, while the single woman in me applauds this approach (life is so much easier without a man around), I do believe people need sex to feel happy.* But they need good sex to feel happy. And good sex doesn’t happen through shaming, abuse, and demeaning the potential partner, it happens through open communication, responsible education, and learning how to love and have fun together. Let’s focus our efforts there, shall we? It’s not just a man thing, either. Women need to stop fawning and falling over men like Andrew Huberman and other successful, rich, and famous “manly” men who don’t give a shit about them while pretending to. Women, instead of looking for power from a man, how about reaching inside and developing your own power? That’s what Taylor Swift did. And whether it works out with Travis Kelsey or not doesn’t even matter, because she brings joy to the whole world through her very own power and authenticity. Take that, Patriarchy! Ka-Pow! (Shout out to Caitlin Clark here too!)

Why are we so afraid of change? Of women? Of sex? Why would we rather go to war — whether it’s with another country, weeds, or “pests” — and kill innocent children than go to therapy and heal our issues? Well, for thousands of years religions have used fear to control the women and the masses and siphon money from people’s hard-working hands to line their temples with gold, silk robes, and obedient servants. Sex as a sin was their secret weapon to hide their own sinful behavior. As traditional religions seem to be declining, “think tanks” like the Heritage Foundation are picking up the slack and trying to keep people uneducated and poor so they can keep raping them physically and emotionally. (Check out Project 2025. The “Radical Left” is the new “Satan.”) But the media uses fear too, from promoting unachievable standards of beauty and body size to relentlessly reporting on apocalyptic world-ending scenarios instead of positive solutions, to salivating over celebrities and politicians in all their artificial glory. Worst of all, the media perpetuates the fake stories put out by corporations to hide their crimes. Plastic recycling, for example. Or stupid articles that go on for decades like “Which is better, paper or plastic?” Just Shut. Up. Make your own tote bags out of your used fast-fashion clothes that are no longer in style! Clearly, much of this escapist susceptibility to deception is deeply embedded in our human nature. But it’s time to wake up. Time to evolve. Time to lift our consciousness out of the chaos to see our unique higher purposes. And purposes is plural here because each of us has a unique purpose and the game of life is to find it, celebrate it, and share the fuck out of it. This is the time to let your light shine!

While all these things seem chaotically disconnected, they are all, in fact, connected. Our outdated views on money, sex, and our fear of change are like that chemical fertilizer spill in Iowa, poisoning our lives and killing innocent creatures all around us and way downstream. And it’s not just French farmers that are trying to get our attention by dumping shit on our doorstep, it’s everything. The earth will keep shaking, flooding, and heating up until we realize we MUST change. But it’s the connections, and our ability to see those connections, that will save us. That’s why some governments want to ban TikTok. It’s not about stealing our secrets — everybody already knows your secrets! And who cares?! It’s about stealing our ability to connect across continents, cultures, and borders to share information and learn from each other.

For me, it always comes back to this: Start where you are. Heal your own trauma — with or without therapy. Treat the earth, your body, your family, and all your relationships with love and kindness. Learn how to have good sex, even if it’s just with yourself. Feed yourself good, healthy, organic food. Share your financial abundance with people and causes that you truly care about and know will use your money wisely. Don’t ever trust a preacher. But always trust your own heart and soul.

Sure, change is scary. But not changing is even worse. And on the other side of fear is a beautiful, glorious, fun, loving, sexually satisfying world for all.

If you want to try therapy, a great resource is the Psychology Today Find A Therapist Tool. There is nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of.

And for God’s sake, please vote. Even if it is for an old white man. This is what the end of patriarchy looks like.

*For the record I am so glad I had children and love them dearly. I’m also proud of the women they have become — fearless, smart, and a joy to be around.