Well stated Maria. Men acting the way they do is so generational and embedded. Not an excuse, but these toxic behaviors, often very subtle, were observed and copied from fathers, grandfathers and other male figures. So few of us recognized the effects on that behavior and the toll it took on those closest. The admission and relearning is often triggered by failures in family and life relationships. Pain on all sides. We must teach our children better by conversation and example.
The only time my father Ben Moore said he was proud of me was when your father said good things about my work at Rodale Press. My father encountered Bob Rodale by the front desk of the East Minor Street building just before his 1990 trip to Moscow and they had a short conversation about gardening and health. When I was growing up my father's comments to me were always negative, such as my report card showed I was on the honor roll, but why didn't I get all A's, and my overall Iowa test score was 99, but why didn't I get all 99's. Bob Teufel taught me to turn around my thinking to find positive and encouraging things to say. My years working at Rodale Press provided many of the highlights of my life. Pat Moore Griffith Brown
There are so many deep issues in your post and ones we as amazing women and men need to grapple with right now. This is true personally and nationally. As a successful, empathetic woman who tries to lead with kindness, I have always been more open to men who know themselves, work on themselves to be better (we all need to do this always), who also have a core of and show kindness as their lead. I agree that many people must overcome their upbringing and that can be difficult. Very difficult. We all have something there that we need to reshape to be the people we want to be. Generations value different things due to their own upbringing and struggles. If we can see what those things are, sometimes we can work to understand them and let them go or, better yet, change them into something positive-perhaps to help ourselves-perhaps to also help others. Having a great partner to do that with can make that easier at times, but, these are often deeply personal journeys. I lived with my husband for 31 years before he passed last fall and he spoke often of his abusive childhood and his struggle to overcome it. His mother "didn't understand boys" was what he was told. That type of upbringing shapes small boys into men who struggle. He worked hard to overcome that by leading with kindness everyday, pitching in to do whatever work needed to be done (I had to teach him some of it because he certainly was not taught basic domestic skills); and a steadfast dedication to helping others and loving his family...and telling them often. Regardless of what we have experienced in life or how we have been raised (I was fortunate to have a loving and supportive childhood), we can, with love and support, rise above it, learn from it, and move forward. We all need this and our Nation needs this now.
Thank you for the thought provoking post, again, Maria.
Loved this piece. Thank you Maria. It rings so true.
😊
Well stated Maria. Men acting the way they do is so generational and embedded. Not an excuse, but these toxic behaviors, often very subtle, were observed and copied from fathers, grandfathers and other male figures. So few of us recognized the effects on that behavior and the toll it took on those closest. The admission and relearning is often triggered by failures in family and life relationships. Pain on all sides. We must teach our children better by conversation and example.
😊🙏🏼❤️
The only time my father Ben Moore said he was proud of me was when your father said good things about my work at Rodale Press. My father encountered Bob Rodale by the front desk of the East Minor Street building just before his 1990 trip to Moscow and they had a short conversation about gardening and health. When I was growing up my father's comments to me were always negative, such as my report card showed I was on the honor roll, but why didn't I get all A's, and my overall Iowa test score was 99, but why didn't I get all 99's. Bob Teufel taught me to turn around my thinking to find positive and encouraging things to say. My years working at Rodale Press provided many of the highlights of my life. Pat Moore Griffith Brown
🥲🙏🏼❤️
There are so many deep issues in your post and ones we as amazing women and men need to grapple with right now. This is true personally and nationally. As a successful, empathetic woman who tries to lead with kindness, I have always been more open to men who know themselves, work on themselves to be better (we all need to do this always), who also have a core of and show kindness as their lead. I agree that many people must overcome their upbringing and that can be difficult. Very difficult. We all have something there that we need to reshape to be the people we want to be. Generations value different things due to their own upbringing and struggles. If we can see what those things are, sometimes we can work to understand them and let them go or, better yet, change them into something positive-perhaps to help ourselves-perhaps to also help others. Having a great partner to do that with can make that easier at times, but, these are often deeply personal journeys. I lived with my husband for 31 years before he passed last fall and he spoke often of his abusive childhood and his struggle to overcome it. His mother "didn't understand boys" was what he was told. That type of upbringing shapes small boys into men who struggle. He worked hard to overcome that by leading with kindness everyday, pitching in to do whatever work needed to be done (I had to teach him some of it because he certainly was not taught basic domestic skills); and a steadfast dedication to helping others and loving his family...and telling them often. Regardless of what we have experienced in life or how we have been raised (I was fortunate to have a loving and supportive childhood), we can, with love and support, rise above it, learn from it, and move forward. We all need this and our Nation needs this now.
Thank you for the thought provoking post, again, Maria.
RIP Rich ❤️🪶🦉